Decision Time

I had an aunt that passed away in April. She has such an amazing story. She had cerebral palsy and walked only with crutches. Doctors told her she could never carry a child but she married and gave birth to a son. She was told numerous times that she wouldn't make it to her next birthday. She was forced to have one of her legs amputated and was confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. With all of that, she was one of the happiest people I have ever met. There wasn't a day in her life that she wasn't in pain but her faith in God and will to survive was an inspiration to everyone. Watching her made me want to be a better person. It took all of this time for me to realize that I don't have to be perfect to be a great person, an amazing mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend.  With that being said, I have decided to have the surgery! I have prayed for the right answer and have prayed for peace to come along with my decision. Yesterday morning I sat in the floor and prayed out loud to God. By the afternoon, I knew that I wanted to have the surgery and I knew that I could adjust to all of the changes that came with the surgery. Mom told me that she didn't care about anything as long as she had my face and my heart here with her. My appointment with the surgeon went really well. I feel like things are finally working out and all of my questions are being answered. We aren't in the clear but for now this is exactly what I have prayed for. The only catch with this is that the doctor will go in and explore the area and all of the surrounding tissue before proceeding. If any of the cancer has spread outside of the pelvic area, the doctor will stitch me back up and the surgery will be called off. If that happens I will have chemo for the rest of my days but there will not be a cure. If the cancer hasn't spread outside of that region, he will do the surgery and I will have an 80% chance of being cured. For now the surgery is scheduled on the 15th of December and I will probably be in the hospital for the rest of the year. I will miss Christmas at home but I have to rejoice in the fact that this may save my life and allow me to have many other holidays to celebrate. We have decided to have Christmas the Sunday before the surgery. Allie doesn't understand dates or the calendar yet so she will be happy as can be. Thank you all so much for continuing to pray.  "Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress, and He hears my voice."  (Psalms 55:17)   I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving...I know that I have so much to be thankful for! :)