Tired In Texas

Wow...I don't even know where to start. Today definitely didn't go the way I wanted it to. We were up bright and early this morning. We went downstairs at 7:30 and had coffee while waiting for the shuttle to the hospital. There were many people in the lobby that were also going to MD Anderson. For some reason, I went right up to this lady and just started chatting with her and asked her to kind of show me where I needed to go once I got to the hospital. We knew each other for about 30 minutes and when we parted ways in the lobby of the hospital, her eyes watered up as she wished me luck. It was a feeling that I had never before experienced. Once we figured out where we were supposed to go, we waited for what seemed like forever. Mom and I read and Alan worked. Finally about three hours later they called me back. They did an exam and also did a biopsy. After the exam, we all went into a conference room and waited for the doctor to come in and talk to us. Then came the hard part. I don't even know how to say this. The doctor said that if I was eligible for this certain kind of surgery and it worked, I would be cured. Since my cancer had also invaded my ovaries, I may not be a candidate for it. The surgery is very complicated and is life changing. She explained to me that the only way for me to be well would be to take out tissue and organs including my bladder and colon. After that extensive surgery, I would have to have reconstructive surgery. There are many risks and complications associated with the procedures. The other option is chemo only. My doctor explained that doing chemo alone would only help me live a little longer but would not be a cure. Right now I know for sure that the surgery is not an option for me. Alan called my doctor back in Little Rock and we are going to see him at the end of the week. Alan wants to see someone else to see if there is anything that anyone else can offer. We didn't get back to the hotel until after 5 tonight. As we were waiting for the shuttle I started thinking about things from the past. I was just thinking how a year ago I was talking with my sister about getting old. We both agreed that we didn't want wrinkles and didn't want to start wearing nerdy clothes.  After all of this, I would happily welcome 100 new wrinkles and I would be ecstatic to sport around in my elastic waist jeans pulled up to my collar bone. :)

Sorry for the typos or if I ramble a little...It's been a LONG and exhausting day. I'll continue after I see another doctor on Friday.  Please continue to pray for us during this difficult time.