Fish Out of Water :)

Whew! Seems like the last two weeks have been two years! Two weeks ago Alan and I checked into Baptist and I got a blood transfusion because of such low blood counts. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was thinking an hour or two and I would be on my way. Yikes, not so much. We checked in at 11 and didn't get finished until 8:00 p.m.  I was so aggravated at that bed, tv, and cold turkey and dressing that they kept bringing that I wanted to throw that tray down the hall! I have been so nervous about the blood situation because when you are watching someone elses blood go into your body it almost gives you a panic feeling. But, the good news is that people that donate aren't paid to give, so you are getting blood from people that really care about others. Hospitals can even tell the area that the blood was received from...mine was New York! The blood didn't really make me feel much better but I was super excited to get back to the doctor to see if the blood made a difference. Not so much. I haven't had a white count over 1.6 the whole time. I think it went up to 1.7 but low end of normal is 4.5. My red count went up about a point and that was it.

Last week, I think that I slept almost the whole entire week. I felt like I didn't care about anything other than taking a nap. Thankfully that feeling is gone and even with chemo yesterday I am feeling much better. I think all of the fluids and steroids have helped me to get on top of things.  Friday night was somewhat of an experience. Alan, Allie, and I met his parents at Shotgun Dan's for dinner. Everything seemed fine but I had a few weird jumpy feelings while we were eating. I got home and went on with my night, playing with the dogs, running around with Allie and making sure to take all of my medication.  We got in bed about 11 the last thing I remember was playing a game with Allie on my phone. At 1 a.m. I woke up with my mom sitting in my bedroom floor. "What are you doing here!?" I was so super confused! Apparently while playing that game, I had a seizure, fell out of the bed and convulsed for over 10 minutes. Alan phoned the doctor in the middle of the night and mom rushed over to help. Alan tried and tried to talk to me and yell for me to snap out of it but mom told him that we would have to wait it out. So FINALLY, an hour later, after a bit tongue, busted lip and a toenail missing in action, I came around but didn't know who anyone was and had no recollection of the night. So, now that all of this has happened, Alan wont let me out of his site and it is driving me NUTS! He is also forcing Gatorade on me every 5 minutes to keep me from getting dehydrated. Not sure which is worse, Alan following me around or having chemo! :) Gotta love a concerned and worried husband. He said after that stunt he was scared to death. Imagine your spouse flopping on the floor like a fish out of water and foaming at the mouth making a screeching, screaming noise. Makes me laugh thinking about it...I guess because I didn't have to see it.

Yesterday at the doctor my counts had dropped once again but I'm still holding on and taking the chemo. I don't want to skip any and I certainly don't want to give up. It seems almost like I live at the doctor. Monday's are spent from noon until 6, Tuesday's are 3 until sometimes 5:30 and Wednesday until 3:30 only to rush Allie to dance by 3:45. So, finally I get a break on Thursday! I feel bad because all of my friends feel like I am pushing them out of my life but I just really don't have time between all of this mess going on and lots of times I just don't feel like it!

Mom continues to bring me good food because she knows I wont go and get it and eat it on my own. The last time she was here she asked me for her glass bowl back from some sweet potatoes she made two weeks earlier and I said, "Well, I think it's in the dishwasher. I'll wash it and get it back to you." I knew good and well it was still in the refrigerator full of sweet potatoes from two weeks ago. :)

To round all of this up, Allie needs me! I need to see her go to kindergarten, talk her through fights with friends, have her first date, get married and have children (if that's what she desires). I haven't been to church in over 5 weeks and it makes me sad. I'm just so exhausted! Please continue to pray. :)